After my third child was born, I was elated. I sat in the hospital looking at this little person, so grateful for the new place she had created in my heart. She nestled right in with our family. I felt grateful, I felt enamored, and love was tangible, embodied in this little human in my arms. Watching my other children meet her was incredible, and watching my husband juggle 3 children for the first time, was pretty gratifying. Believe it or not, I couldn’t wait to leave the hospital and get home to start our lives as a family of five. THIS, I thought, is what life and love is all about.
Then, we were home.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I still felt all of the love, gratitude, and happiness. But now our new reality had set in. There was no longer any rest for the weary. There was no nurse to take my daughter to the nursery, no grandparents there to hold the baby for a minute, and once my husband returned to work in the city, it was 3 v 1 all day long. I neglected to remember just how demanding the tiniest member of this little team that we had created was going to be. I had two in diapers and a kindergartener, all who needed their hair combed and shoes tied and snacks (those freaking snacks!?!). Not to mention they needed hugs, stories read to them and their mom’s unwavering ATTENTION. Did I forget to mention that baby number three had taken quite a toll on this aging body. Nothing was um, bouncing back as quickly as it had with the first two. (Im sure we’ll touch on this one at a later date)
Here’s the part of this that I had failed to take into consideration. All of a sudden, there was no TIME. You see, I have always been a master of time management. As a black belt in procrastination, I have always been a pretty decent multi-tasker. However, I quickly realized that those two things can no longer co-exist (successfully) while you have a newborn. There were dishes to wash and food to make and diapers to change. There were children to wash and appointments to make and sheets to change. There was no TIME. I didn’t recognize it, but I needed something, or someone to just give me a minute to breathe.
Then, there she was. Right at my front door, this glorious beacon of beauty. (Just kidding, she is beautiful but everyone looked like a rockstar compared to my third baby, postpartum figure) My neighbor, close friend, and fellow mom of three came over to meet our newest little sweetheart. When she walked in, she gave me a huge hug, and said, “Oh, she is just the sweetest thing. Now give her to me, go sit on the couch, and close your eyes for ten minutes” I looked at her, and started to say “No Im fine I…” but she just put out her hands and said, “Please, just trust me.” And so, I did.
It was ten minutes. Ten minutes with my eyes closed, my feet up, my mind quiet. It was ten minutes of peace. It was ten minutes of me time. It was in that one small gesture I truly made the mom connection. She understood, without me having to say it. In that moment, it was what I needed. That fellow Mom of three had been there and she knew better than this newly minted mother of three that I needed “the gift of time”. The gift of knowing that I had someone in my life, who gets this whole Mom thing. The juggling, the happiness, the guilt, the stress, the being “the one”. In that one gesture, without a word, she showed me. Sometimes, someone’s small kindness can truly make a remarkable difference in your world. In my case, my friend giving me that gift of ten little minutes, meant peace of mind, reassurance, and confidence that I am not alone. Thats right Ladies, we moms are all in this together!
The beautiful friend and neighbor that gave me that gift is my partner in this adventure. That is why this gift of time is so important for us to pay forward. Because WE GET IT! We get that you need that extra ten minutes to have someone else figure it all out for a change. We hope through this journey we are able to give that gift to you as well. So this holiday season, and the year to come we hope to continuously give this gift to our fellow moms, because everyone could use that extra ten minutes.
xo- A fellow Bergen North Mom